Women Deny Their Age or Compete With Daughters

The following comment was made in response to one of my articles about "mid-life "mean girls" behavior"

Great advice! As one who is in her forties I avoid the middle-aged gripe club and referencing my age all time. But I have a question. Maybe the answer is in your e-book, but what do you say to people who claim that doing what you prescribe is denying their age? And what do you think about women who say having a youthful vibe, particularly in dress is "trying to compete with your daughter?"

Let's agree on this: It's stupid to deny your age or that you are aging.

Let's also agree on this: While it's stupid to deny your age or that you are aging, it's smart to engage in deliberate defiance of the vicissitudes of aging. That said, it's not easy to make the effort to fight decline because our human nature prefers ease over effort and the leisure oriented senior culture mindset and lifestyle compound the issue.

When "up there" in years, little is worse than being dependent, particularly if dependence results from failure to engage in positive acts of defiance early on. An example of a positive act of defiance is starting an exercise routine while you still have the strength and capacity to bend and stretch, and sticking with it year in and year out. Continuity of effort produces amazing results needed most in the older years.

As for the charge of "trying to compete with your daughter" - let's face it - many older women DO look as good as their daughters, and can wear their daughters' clothes and look great in them, but I don't think women consciously or deliberately try to compete with their daughters.

When a woman makes a negative comment about another woman's appearance or clothing choices, it may be envy. Or, maybe not. Perhaps it's an honest opinion that something "on trend" for a young woman looks silly on an older woman. For example, older women wearing dresses that seem to be made of barely (no pun intended) a yard of fabric. Upon seeing such sights I am often tempted to utter a childhood expression applicable for confused fashionistas:

"I see London, I see France, I can see your underpants". (And sometimes, even more!)

Perhaps you are not old enough to have heard that expression but as a first grade six year old (waaaay back when) I heard it a lot. A cute classmate's parents owned a clothing shop for young children and Jacqueline always looked picture perfect in her short short flouncy Shirley Temple dresses, a sight that motivated gleeful little boys to let her know they could see her picture perfect lace-trimmed underwear. Never seen a Shirley Temple dress? If you have watched teen idol Selena Gomez energetically bounce up and down around the stage in her short short flouncy dress (to the delight of panting pre-pubescent boys), you have the picture.

I digress. If you are making an effort to hang on to as many youthful attributes as possible, good for you! Do what it takes to keep and improve what you have now. Don't allow disparaging remarks from envious or misguided women about denying your age or competing with your daughter deter you from achieving your goal of healthy, independent, DEFIANT agelessness.

Custom Made Handbags for Women

Although it may have only been a few minutes ago, do you remember grabbing your handbag, car keys, travel mug, climbing into your vehicle - SUV, CUV or just a plain old sedan - and heading off to work?

When you left the house, did you give your handbag much thought? Like most people, the answer probably is no. Whether your bag is really a Birkin or just a TJ Maxx special, it is important to you because it holds your entire life - in microcosm, of course - inside. Since it is so important, if you are considering a new handbag, make sure that it is up to any situation.

Examples

When the time arrived to make the purchase did you think about it in terms of longevity, good looks or cost? It's a legitimate question because: 

- A handbag that is poorly made won't last long; could find yourself with you "life story" spilling on the street or subway when some cheap seam let go. 

- A handbag that is better made will cost you more and it will provide more protection to the important items you keep inside. Such a handbag should have double-stitched seams, multiple compartments and will also feature a secure clasp. 

- A handbag that is unique or custom-made will be able to stand up to normal, daily use, as well as any abuse it may face from the daily jostle on the street car platform or the bus station where crowds are particularly thick and thin.

Once you get home, after a particularly trying train or bus ride, following a horrendous day at the office where your temper may be very worn, you should be sure that not only will your uniquely designed and custom-built handbags stand up to the train, bus or your temper, but that it will handle any indignities at home, brought on by a slowly slipping temper. Will it survive a 25-foot toss to a tabletop? Or, will it be up to a slam on a coffee table, followed by a quick flip to a couch or bed another 10 or 15 feet away? This makes a very good case for a custom handbag, doesn't it?

Specialty Bag Features

For example, if you purchase a custom-built bag, you will be happy with the choice. Bags made by custom manufacturers will not only take the daily use and abuse, but, at the same time, a well-made bag makes the owner feel happy. It would not be out of line to say that a custom-built bag will make the owner believe that the handbag was built especially for her arm.

Given the importance of finding the handbag that feels as if it has been made for you, here are some features to consider in your shopping. First, though the manufacturer may make thousands of handbags per day, the bag should still feel as if its manufacturer had made it just for you. It follows, that when you pick it up, it should feel as if it were made by a custom bag manufacturer just for you.

You must also look closely at:

- The seams - are they double-stitched and hand-finished or does it feel "thrown together?" 

- The seams be manufacture-red of quality materials and the finish work such as stitching must be high-quality, using a good leather and high-strength thread. 

- There are two seam stitching options, a chain stitch which is naturally stronger, although a double running stitch will also ensure a strong handbag base. 

- Look closely at the handbag's closure. The best closure results will be from a zippered bag where the zipper handle is tucked out of the way in its own enclosure. 

- Look at the quality of the closure mechanism. As discussed, a zippered, protected enclosure is best, however, if the manufacturer finished the bag as a fold-over with a magnetic clasp, the bag is still worth a close look as this is actually quite secure. The extra material and clasp will keep your valuables safe.